Scott, on IC. Do not settle for an IC that isn't working for you. We will shop around for a dog groomer or an auto shop, but for some reason people feel that they are obligated to an IC even if the IC isn't all that great. My advice, find a new IC. There are plenty out there.
As far as dating, it just isn't fair to the other person that you haven't dealt with the emotional baggage related to your soon-to-be failed marriage. You are young. You have plenty of time. It would be a shame for you to meet someone that normally would be a great match for you, only to have the R poisoned by those unresolved feelings and emotional baggage. Broken attracts broken, so unless you do the work on yourself post-D, you likely won't be attracted high-quality potentials.
And I know you are conning yourself into the "But, I would like to find a couple of women to be able to go out with from time to time." viewpoint. That is crap. The truth is that you have a few things going on underneath. First, you want to find your value and validation in being desired by other women. Second, you are afraid to be alone. Third, you want to show that low-down, no-good WAW just how quickly you can rebound with other prospects. And fourth, you think you have to have sex.
Those reasons are all horrible reasons to date. Maybe your world view is different than mine, but to me dating is to try to find a suitable long-term partner. A spouse. I've never understood the casual dating just to go out and have fun, and sleep with someone with no commitment. But that is just me. As I said before, it is your life, you get to choose what you do regardless of what others say, especially strangers on the internet.
Hang in there Scott. Onward and upward.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
