Broken people / people with personality disorders will often say one thing / one rule , but then it doesnt apply to them.
To put into context, my WW hated cheating. She made it very clear from the first date, that cheating was a no no.. Her father had left her mother and her for another woman 27 years prior to meeting me.
Three months into our relationship, i accidently found evidence of an historic affair with an engaged / (maybe married) man from work. It was way before we met, so i thought nothing of it - She played it down and i ignored this HUGE red flag..
Her words didnt match her actions. Stupid me for ignoring this !
It took me until DB to see this, when she cheated on me !
I suspect over the coming weeks / months you will see things a lot clearer and realise your WW wasnt all that !
Wow, this is good stuff.
I can relate. My W too was majorly against cheating. Even the first couple of year into our marriage, we found out another couple we knew one of the spouses had cheated. She said to me "How awful, please never cheat on me!" Now granted, by W only had EAs during our marriage, and that is how she would probably justify her stance on cheating, EA vs. PA. But certainly she was headed for a PA in her first EA in 2005 if I hadn't caught it. And only distance prevented her 2017 EA from being a PA (OM lived 1000 miles away in another state). But I also came to find out that before we we dated she had some questionable relationships with a couple of otherwise unavailable guys in her past as well. My W doesn't have a personality disorder, but she certainly would classify herself in the past as "broken".
Nick your point on using sex as a way to validate herself also feels familiar. I think that was a big part of our SSM was that once her end (marriage) was achieved, the means (sex) went by the boards. Admittedly, my NGS behavior and resentment at the SSM didn't improve things, but it certainly wasn't the underlying cause of the SSM.
Anyway, not a lot to add to your sitch Nick, I just thought yours and Bside's observations were interesting.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
