The trouble is that us LBH's view our WW via rose coloured spectacles and put them on a pedastool, we are remembering the good moments of our M, where as our WW is only wants to remember the negative bits and non of the good bits?
What us LBH's need to do is remember, is the lies and deceit we had to endure over the past year or two? In my case of how she put me into Depression and stress.
When I list out her good points and then her bad points of which there are more,!
I then ask myself why would you still want to be M with her?
mark, this is awesome. Very few of us LBHs come to this realization so quickly. But this is the kind of thinking that can really turn you around and get you headed in the right direction. Rather than holding on to your WAS for dear life, it can allow you to start making your future plans for yourself. I was about the same distance into my sitch when I finally woke up to the same kind of thinking.
As you said, the rose-tinted glasses make us forget that our MR wasn't all that before BD. But when you step back and realize that it wasn't all that great, and maybe BD is exactly what you needed, then you can start looking at things more objectively. I am a big proponent of LBSs looking at their sitches objectively. What would you tell a friend that was in your shoes? Stepping back and trying to see the forest for the trees can help get a better perspective and try to separate out the logical from the emotion. Very difficult to do, but if you can it can get you thinking more clearly and seeing things for what they really are.
So mark, what are your plans for how to move forward?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
