Midlife Crisis and Affair with Past GF

[Elbereth]

Hi Joe2017,

Thanks for your insight. I agree with you in many ways, but not all. I do agree that the MR we had was not good. So I have accepted that it is dead. What my hope is, is to have the opportunity to create a new relationship that is better than the old marriage. I know that what I hope to do is most likely not going to happen and I will most likely end up D'd. But in part of this process, I hope to better understand myself, understand what went wrong and know in my heart that I did everything I could to save the marriage. To me, the commitment I made is a serious thing. Not something I take lightly. And much of my current actions are for me. Sure, I want to the do the right things that might help in my situation, but my main focus is on myself. As that is all I have control over. And my kids. For me, I need to know that I tried, even if I don't get results. I can't move on if I don't do what I believe is the right thing for me to do.

I have set boundaries where necessary, and I think I'm detaching in a positive way. I am calm, getting healthy, GALing and yes, I am sad, but have a level of peace as I've accepted that this is where it's at. I also do have a lawyer and am taking precautions. Yes, divorce is messy, and I am no stranger to it...I've got one under my belt already.

Thank you for your honest words! The hard truth is good. I am moving forward with my eyes wide open!