Trying to heal from WW

[Ace_32]

Thanks Sandi, i wasnt always a nice guy to her to be honest but close to the end i became weak and i can see how that could be a turnoff for her. I let her get away with too much and didn't have the energy to have the same fights anymore and i guess i just started giving up on standing up for myself and sticking to my boundaries. We live and we learn i guess, many life lessons to learn from something like this.

I always stand up for myself and what i believe is right, i think i lost the ability to do that with her. I started becoming scared of her reactions and the things she would say when i brought up something that was bothering me. Definitely agree that she started using it against me to manipulate me into getting what she wanted or to make me feel that im in the wrong. I have stopped contacting her completely now, last week she asked me to post her our marriage certificate because she needs it to file. I sent it and havent spoken to her since.

It was my whole life for the last few years, i didnt really do much without her so its tough. I moved to a new place a few weeks ago at the coast and started a new job, still quite far from where she is though so i have no idea if i will see her again or if i even want to. I needed a fresh start and to see what happens. I tend to drink too much so thats something i am trying to work on, also want to start jogging and exercising more. The last few years have made me a lot more humble which i think is a good thing, i used to be quite arrogant when i was younger but the world has a way of knocking you down and teaching you lessons.

I have been reading my bible and alot of christian books the last 6 months, also cut down on tv. Started talking to a Christian counselor last week and seeing him again tomorrow, he is helping me to realise the internal issues i have and how this isnt all my fault. Also met with a young pastor at a church near me recently and i am receiving links to the virtual Sunday services until the church reopens.

Learning to like myself has been one of my biggest problems in my life actually not just my marriage and becoming a man i can be proud of is top of my to do list. i miss her but i dont tell her about any of the things im doing anymore, i havent for a while. Realised she doesnt care about it and eventually i stopped caring about sharing with her.

Thanks for your response Sandi, really appreciate the time you guys take to give your views and feedback.