W and I spoke to D18 with wife about school stuff D18 is not completing. I asked W to do the talking because I've been on both kids and W has been kind of undermining me. This is an issue that I raised in November when W was thick into OM and not paying attention to whats going on in the house.
W starts and she makes her point. And she keeps going on and on reiterating the same point. D18 starts crying a little but W keeps going. I finally tell W she need to stop and she asks me, wait I thought you wanted me to be the heavy. I said but everything that needed be said has been said.
Now W looks a little dazed, like why did I want her to stop. I go over to D18 and hug her, tell her we just want her to live up to her potential. W is still standing there in a daze and I tell her go hug your daughter. W says what? I said go hug your daughter. W snaps out of it and hugs D18, crises averted for now. And its a nice tender moment beause they obviously love eact other and W just wants whats best for D18.
W and I leave the room and I ask do you want a little constructive criticism, and if you don't thats ok. She agrees. I tell her the exchange with D18 happened many times between me and you. You get on a roll and dont stop, and the other person is ovrwhelmed and just shuts down. W surprises me and actually acknowledgs.
W says we let he kids get away with a lot and its true. I say maybe we should have them join the Army. Then W tells me a story about her friend who I know and her experiences in the Amy. And we effortlessly fell into this conversation, just like old times.
And I start to feel uncomfortable, because the story, while not intimate, was kind of personal, like between a H and W, and thats not where we are. So I kind of cut it off because even though I enjoyed talking, and during the M, when we weren't arguing (which was most of the time) we talked for hours
I also kind of wondered if WWs have those kind of talks with OMs, or do they just have pillow talk and laugh about their LBS.
