Just got out of another convo about D18 who has been shirking her duties.
W: D18 only got motivated to do her practive driving when we said we wouldnt let her drive to school in the fall
Nick:You mean when we said she had to do X amount of hours before she was ready and you took her for her license without me knowing.
W; I did not give her the license the state of XXX gave her the license
Nick: I only found out she had a license because D21 sniitched and was worried D18 was unsafe.
W:Whats the difference, you would have found out eventually.
Nick: Well the difference is I had to go into work late everday for a month so I could ride to School in the morning because there was no doubt in my mind that D18 would be in an accident. (I didnt add, while you slept in because the wole push to get the license was so W ould not have to get up to take her to the bus stop)
Nick, what was the end goal of this discussion? It appears that you are chastising her for a decision that had already been made.
This is how it should have gone:
W: D18 only got motivated to do her practive driving when we said we wouldnt let her drive to school in the fall
H: In the future, parenting decisions like D18 getting a license should be a mutual decision.
Notice, this changes the frame of the discussion to future decisions. Belittling her a bad decision that is already made accomplishes nothing.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
