Gordie 24 still married

[Gordie]

Gerda: For all of us, we know God is asking something from us, we just don't know what it exactly is. But we are trying to walk towards His will as best as we can

Gordie: I feel like this. I know God is asking something from me, but I don't know exactly what it is.

Gerda: I think that is why we are all three still able to see meaning and light in it. I am reading this book which talks about how different the life of faith was from what came before, starting with the OT but much more with the NT, that it was less about our unknown origins than our unknown future -- that faith comes from trusting God completely, without knowing what the future is, that the sacrifice God asks is your desire to control your future and to instead trust His plan for it. I'm not even talking about after death, but tomorrow, today, when Gordie's wife has her headphones on in the next room.

Gordie: I confess that I have a hard time trusting God completely. It's why I say my faith isn't very strong. I'm a doubter.

Gerda: I wish my H had left long before he did, and I think you'd have more peace if your W left for a while, but I know that the thought of you going about your day as best as you can, giving your loneliness and grief to God as best as you can, cooking dinner and laughing with your children while their mom is in the next room alone, that that to me is a beautiful light. I don't think this is what God wants for you, but maybe it's what God expects from you, at least until He makes it clear that your path has shifted.

Gordie: Yes, I think for now this is what God wants of me.

Gerda: I am sure God wanted me to stand, even if it didn't "work" to bring mine back. I have to trust that the reasons for that will become clear as time goes on (and many are already clear), and that I'll never know all of them, but that walking in faith is how I get closer to God. And I know that to be true. You are laying down your life for your family, and maybe we're not even doing it "right," and certainly we can't take any action that will change the MLCer, but there can be no doubt that you are choosing your family over your own desires and even needs and that there is a lot of light in that choice.

Gordie: Oh, Gerda, that is so touching and heart-warming to read. It's the perfect encouragement.