Hello old friends. It's been months since I logged in. Happy New Year. I logged in to catch up on some of your threads and get some encouragement and I read what DNJ, Gerda and Roist posted in response to my last post and it's exactly what I needed to hear.
So here's the update. Yes, Covid and extra togetherness hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been terrible either. W and I are still married. We have had one relationship talk over the past few months and W asked that we just be friends and while it hurts to hear, I accept that as my reality. No, it's not the relationship I want, but it's the relationship I have. And I choose to accept that. I choose to stay in this relationship. I choose to stay. I choose to stand. Yes, I have my fair share of good and bad days and hopes, fears and doubts, but on balance, my life is good.
Actually, my life outside of my M is great. Fatherhood is great. Work is great. I have more extracurricular activities than I have had in years, partly because I spend so much less time with W than I used to, but also because they are a source of enjoyment. I don't know if I'm doing things right, but I'm trying my hardest to stay true to my values and continue to pray that things turn out how they are supposed to, even if they are different than what I want or how I imagined.
Even though I don't check in very often, I do think and pray for all of you.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
