After I said I went to Florida she sent me an email asking why I “violated” our agreement not to travel. I said that I didn’t And asked her to read the agreement our mediator put together. Then she comes over to drop something off for our daughter. I let her greet the kids and then Waited outside.
Once the kids were gone I said we should talk about the travel. She said nope. I said if you read the agreement... and she started running to her car. I told her that I was no longer going to accept the way she treats me as she slammed her door and drove off.
Then she got home and sent me four emails. One saying she read our agreement and that I was wrong, that we had committed not to travel. (This was not true and immediately sent it to an attorney friend of mine to confirm I wasn’t crazy - she read it and confirmed my thinking). She sent me another email about kids sports (which I had already sent her the schedule for earlier in the day). Another one telling me to call my neighbor because he owes my son money for chores. And another saying she signed up for some family software to manage our calendar, which had been written into our “agreement”.
Holy smokes. It almost ruined my first night with the kids in five days; I was really on tilt.
But, I’m glad I stood my ground and stuck up for myself. This was not a time to listen and validate or to be a patsy. She needs to stop trying to control me and push me around. She used to do this all the time, she would say I agreed to something that I never agreed to and then claim I was changing the truth; this time it’s literally in writing and she STILL claims I’m changing the story. It’s crazy. I remember clearly going over our arrangement with the mediator and the mediator telling her she couldn’t control me and that I could make my own decisions.
Maybe somewhere here would say I should have handled something differently. Maybe i should not have replied to her email that accused me of “violations.” My reply was short and direct. Maybe when she stopped by i should not have said anything to her at all. But at some point, I can’t stand by and allow this behavior to continue. I’m getting divorced and I can’t let her beat on me anymore. That’s got to end.
