Me, too. Find someone to call - several someones who will just listen and lift you up. I had 3 friends that I cycled through so I wouldn't wear any one person out.
Originally Posted by Mar252
Never felt comfortable posting here. Have done so more often since you started responding.
Keep posting. The more you post, the more people will respond. Don't be afraid to ask questions or talk about where you feel stuck. You are not alone. Also - posting/writing helps you get it out.
Originally Posted by Mar252
Anyway, I am a mess today. W has been extra nice since I arrived. Don’t want to go into all the specifics but today I got definitive proof that she booked that vacation with OW for April. I want a divorce now!!
I don't blame you. You might have several time that you feel angry, sad, want it to work, want to D - it's all just a big mess. You don't have to make any choices right now, do you? Try and slow down and figure out what you MUST decide on. Your heart is broken and your mind spins...not a good time to make a decision about your future. Focus on what must be done, what you have the ability to control, and put the rest in a "box" to deal with later. GAL activities are essential right now. Even if you don't want to - especially when you don't want to.
Originally Posted by Mar252
Sitting at my computer crying, looking for a divorce lawyer that I know I can’t afford. I am so incredibly hurt. On some level I wish I could hate her but in reality I can’t picture my life without her.
I'm so sorry (((((hugs))))). You just got home, you are processing new and unwanted information. It's all so much. You don't have to picture your life without her - that's fortune telling. Just stay in today and do what you must for your own healing. Walk, read, whatever can bring a little relief.
Keep swimming, sweet girl. You will get through this.
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.