Moving on and growing. #6

[Gigi123]

I dont hate ow! I dont know her. I would never want to get to know her, she isnt the person of high values or intellectual abilities. We all make choices, she made hers. Im a true believer that the universe creates balance and we all have to take responsibility for our actions one way or another.

So im leaving this to the universe to deal with

[Mumin]

Typing on phone.
On Saturday me and XW went through all assets in the whole house together. (Kids at my brothers)
It was the last and final step to her moving out.
It went well, faster than I thought and I got more things but will prob need to pay a small sum to her.
It was tough for both of us but I managed to focus except once when I started to cry a bit (went through old photos and a pic of daughters together in the house two years ago got me) and I just left for a while.
Drank some water, took three deep breaths and got back to it.
She cried like 5 times. Real tears.

Interesting quotes:
W - “I don’t think we realized what we had”
I said, No we didn’t.

W - “They should tell ppl when applying for divorce to try to split all assets.”
I paused for a while and said, Yeah they should.
Didn’t really initiate or ask anything except when she was crying. Everything else was business.

On Saturday she is moving, I will take the kids to my sisters that day and on Sunday they will be moving as well.
They will spend all of next week at her new apt.
The only thing I’m really hoping for is that she wait with inviting OM till kids get accustomed.
I can tell on D6 she is a bit nervous.

[OnlyBent]

I can understand that would have been a tough process to go through M, and well done on having a way to control those emotions when they came out.

Hope Saturday isn’t too hard for you, I think it’s good that you’ll be at your sisters and have things to keep you busy.

[Traveler]

I bet it was hard going through all the items and photos. It sounds like you handled the situation well.

[Mumin]

Two stars for validations guys! And thanks! It really does make one feel "seen" even online.
It WAS a hard day but it had to be done.

What got me was that I found pile of photos I hadn't seen (or so I thought) so I wanted to browse through and after 3-4 photos I realize its a collage of her Instagram photos that she had printed ~3 years ago. About a year ago she started editing away all of her past life and there were a bunch of photos of the kids, house, me etc that she now has deleted or hidden. Then came the photo of my daughters and I just broke. They looked so happy and innocent and now they are helpless in this situation and smack in middle of everything.

[neffer]

Be proud of your family Mumin. Be proud of that past.

Face the future now. You have your girls there. They see what you are: the lighthouse. Keep shining bright.

Stand proud there man, there is dignity everywhere

Sending you a big hug

Respect!

((((M))))

[97Hope]

I'm so sorry, Mumin. It totally s*cks to see your kids in the middle. Focus on being their rock. You did a good job handling the sorting and I agree, it's good you have a place to go.

Keep moving forward.

x

[Mumin]

Thanks for the support and input the last few days Ginger, CW, Gigi, dun Hope, OB and neffer (nice to see you back here!). As always highly appreciated.

Will be killing it at work this week (today I have 8 meetings and two of them are longer than an hour...) and hitting the gym tonight. Last week with W in the house but I wont be trying to spend more time together.
I told her to pick out two boxes of kids stuff for her apt before Thursday and I will look through before the move, interesting to see if she does it.

Been listening to a short version of the four agreements. Very interesting!
I am internally battling a bit to not go back to old habits.
Next week will be a test as it is my first week completely alone.

[sandi2]

I am internally battling a bit to not go back to old habits.

Did they work for you?

[Mumin]

I like a clean house, I like looking good etc but habits are habits and a lot comes down to inner beliefs/assumptions about reality and those aren’t easily changed.
IHS period has helped me keep the new habits. Living alone is something different.