[DnJ]

Hello Eagle

You handled that text perfectly.

H contacted you and shared the information. Offering to speak with him is very good. Cordial, kind, compassionate. H obviously informed you for a reason. He may not know the reason, other than a feeling, however a reason nonetheless.

You followed his lead. Well done. Offering to talk lets him set the pace and time until when/if he is ready.

Such a sudden message is difficult to quickly respond to. I think you did fine. I would suggest not bring up blame or his lack of blame. The act of bringing it up, even under the don’t blame yourself, places the focus upon it, and he will think blame. It’s like don’t think about purple elephants, and now your thinking about purple elephants.

H will bring up that which he needs to discuss. I’ve little doubt he will feel some blame and guilt; see if he calls and what he brings up.

As to the potential of what this may do. That’s hard to predict. H is emotional and this will be some pressure.

I understand you are terrified of what this will do to H. The negative possibilities do tend to jump out first. The purple elephant in the room being suicide. H believes OW1 killed herself, and he brought that up. Leave that trail there, no need to follow it further. People always extrapolate given data, even when it isn’t actually of the same dataset. If something indicates your needed direct involvement or taking charge do so then, otherwise be patient and let God.

Look to hope. The positive possibilities. H may look at his life, the fragility of it. He may realize some things. These are the events that affect people. Significantly altering their lives. That change may go unseen for sometime as it grows within them, eventually emerging. In which way, and in which direction H will be affected is to early to tell. One can hope though.

You followed you heart and did well.

OW1 was a person. Most likely a hurting person. Affairs and everything else aside, it is sad (if true) she took her own life. So telling of a person lost in too much pain.

D