Trying to heal from WW

[Ace_32]

Hi Steve,

Thanks for your detailed response, think you are spot on with alot of what you said. Both our birthdays are in December so basically exactly an 8 year gap.

I didnt have many friends when we lived there together, all my family and friends were on the other side of the country and i was codependent on my wife and wanted to do everything together. The OM was probably my closest friend while i was living there for the last 2 years and i cant help but think that she does these things on purpose to hurt me, she can be quite vindictive in my opinion especially when she is upset with me. He is 5 years older than me, so 37 which is a huge age gap for her. He is basically an older less successful but probably more fun version of me.

I do agree that it probably become a father daughter type dynamic because i had life experience and i thought i needed to control everything and i was supporting her for the first few years until we found her work. I studied for many years and finally qualified as a Chartered Accountant last year, i was going to help her start her studies this year. Agree with what you say as well about it was maybe what she thought she wanted at the time but she started rebelling and wanting to party more and kept saying how young she is.

In the beginning she fell for me very hard and i dont know if i was ever in the same place as her the first few years, the dynamic started to shift the last few years though. We are both christians but we both drifted away and didnt do enough or live the right way during our marriage. One of the main reasons we got married was actually because she didnt want to have sex before marriage, which is ironic considering she cheated on me after that.

I started IC with a christian psychologist last week and having another session or 2 this week. I understand that it vould take her years to realise, i fear that it will be too late then and i wont want her back because of all the hurt she has caused. I realised a long time ago that this isnt in my control but it didn't stop me from trying to take back control.