My exH and I were able to work things out without an intermediary but I was the WAW that left and I took hardly anything. I was very ready to walk away with out a lot that was due to me just to be done. I had I held out a little longer before filing we would've made it to 10 years but it wasn't worth it to me. Like at all. I'm definitely with Own. If you can do this without 2 lawyers and a judge, it's best. I know there's a huge group of folks on here who truly believe that you should be looking out for #1 and get all you can, but as I was with H #1 I was ready to be with H #2 I was more interested in being done and having my bases cover than getting what I "deserved." I will say that I had an attorney behind me in both cases, just in case. A lot can be done if you're willing to let go and let god, but you can't trust that your unbalanced STBXH will do the same. I was separated for a year from exH before I filed he had a lot of time to reflect. The other thing I totally agree with Own is work out custody, placement, visitation first. Everything else is just confetti after that. Don't let him use those kids as bargaining chips.
