I came back to read each and every post several times and let it all sink in. Called my mother to talk it over. Didn't respond to X right away. Wrote and rewrote my response. Waited for a quiet and calm moment to hit send. And yet, some truth darts did sneak in to the email. No, I'll own it. I made it clear that I was disappointed by their attitude toward S2. No response from X.
(((cardinal)))
OwnIt - You were right. Yes, nothing changed when he left. A non-entity. Sounds familiar. But we move on seamlessly.
CanBird - I'm sure FIL would be competent enough to pickup S2, but my concern was that S2 would not feel comfortable enough to go alone with him. FIL is a cold man. S2 has had a couple of sleepovers with the family and it sounds like SIL is his main attachment figure, which makes sense as she has two toddlers of her own.
DnJ - These people are weaponising S2, this is exactly the source of my anger. I did eventually sleep, but before I did, I imagined all the things I wanted to say to MIL. He doesn't have to go to the party, correct. If there was no party, I wouldn't even consider taking him. But I believe he will enjoy it, so he will go. Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom. I am a child of divorce. Myself and my siblings were always welcomed by my dad's family, even though my mother was the one who ended the marriage. I'm feeling disgusted by how weak these people are.
Gerda - The Merchant of Venice is my favourite Shakespeare play, thank you for bringing those words into my day. You can't fix the engine while it's hot-- I love that. I probably could have waited another day or two before responding, but eh.
kml - Still not convinced the grandparents aren't toxic, but S2 seems to enjoy playing with his cousin.
Ginger - Keep it simple. You're so right. I still care too much for the opinion of people who don't care for me.
After another screaming daycare dropoff this morning, I'm confident that I made the right decision to support S2 by taking him to the party. It's unusual for him to be upset when I leave; I can only think of a handful of times over the past two years. Poor little fellow.
One last thing. I took S2 to the waterpark with one of his friends on the weekend. When we were leaving, he asked if his friend's mum and dad were going back to their home together. I said, yep, they are, his mum and dad live together. He said my mum and dad don't live together. I said, nope, they don't. He then said "My dad is a nasty man". I was shocked and blurted out "No! He isn't!" but then realised I shouldn't be so prescriptive, so I asked why. He said "you're not dad's friend". I said no, I'm not. "Dad is my friend?" I said yes, if you want him to be. He seemed satisfied with that.
