Try to see the upside of losing hope: you get to put that energy into fun and personal growth rather than pursuing a cheater who has left you in reality, though you are still married.
If you're still here in 3 months I bet you don't want her back.
Now go work on new relationship skills and heal from this mess.
Good luck,
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.