Well, when I found out about the OM, I actually felt better about myself in a weird way because it made me realize that she's messed up, that the marriage falling apart was not about me. I'm not perfect, but put my family first. Right now her needs are first, and everybody else's are way behind.
My IC thinks that W has low self esteem/high ego. She gets a lot of compliments on her work our family, her looks, etc. The one place she fell short was admin stuff, paying bills, following up with vet, things like that. And I was critical of her about that because I always his to pick u the slack, and resentment built on both are parts.
IC told me high Ego people cannot be wrong, always have to be right. Well in 27 years my W has tld me she's sorry or wrong twice. Thats not an exaggeration. Twice in 27 years. Kids were teasing her a whie ago because she was clearly wrong about something and could not even admit it to them.
And here's one I feel guilty about. About 25 years ago, W wrecked new to us car, completely her fault. When I got home she told me about it and I ws pretty cool about it but of course was not happy. So instad of her saying"Nick, I wrecked the car, it was my fault, Im sorry" She performed oral sex on me. I felt bad about it at the time and should has stopped because she was degrading herself but I didnt. So even with whats going on today and her abusive behavior, I stil feel bad about it.
