Depends on the day and the mood to be honest. Lately I've been looking at houses/rentals in the area to get an idea of what's out there and doable. I'm throwing away/donating stuff I don't need or want. Researching options. It wasn't a conscious decision either, just found myself doing it. I find myself looking at fixer-uppers and getting excited about buying them and working on them how I'd like to with full autonomy. Of course that isn't happening soon, but it is obviously pulling at me. I also wonder if that is just a grass-is-greener fantasy that assumes all my troubles will be gone.
I know I won't move forward with a D until I can say I KNOW it is the right thing to do, and I still can't say that I know it for sure, but the thought has gone from making me queasy to making me a bit excited. In the meantime I gotta figure out what my future looks like otherwise. I have a job that pays me well and has good security that is draining my soul. First world problem, I know, especially in the time of Covid. But it's bleeding over into other aspects of my life and I think it is a big part of me GAL that will impact my overall happiness. Beyond that it's putting more and more into me. I'm contemplating extending Dry January into February (at least until Valentine's, I got no plans on being sober on the 14th), joining a rock climbing gym that is opening in town, and continuing my other activities.
I see it as setting my sights on a journey of being a better me and I'm gearing up for the trip.
