Yeah, ask DnJ about that, the no feelings comment actually physically hurt me, it felt like a punch. She actually told me that on BD day and then later. I could not wrap my head around it.
LH and Sandi explain it. Her unhappiness is due to me. Me being around keeps out OM who gives her hapiness.
Way before BD, I realized I was unhappy. Not with her but life. So I did a bunch of things that made me happy, like travel to colege football games. And then I was happy.
She was unhappy, and sought out someone to make her happy. In her journal, you can see it. First this guy is great, they have awesome sex, then some part of reality intrudes, she leaves. HS boyfriend (True Love) comes back, she's happy. He dumps her again, Now time to find a new guy. Over and over again.
Recently, prior BD) we were having arguments because I felt she was not figuring things out that she was consistently relying on me to fix and solve everything. I actually told her I am not your Dad, I am not your boss, I am not your teacher, you need to figure this out. The most recent was Covid unemployment benefits last April. She was furloughed and we were paying all bills out of my retirement account, which had taken a huge hit in the stock market. She does nothing. I inform her that she is eligible, how do you not know that?
So I tell her she needs to apply. She says I heard the website doesnt work.
Nick Well did you try to log in
W No, but Ill do it tomorrow
Next day
Nick: Were you able to get on today
W: No actually didnt try:
Nick: Ok, lets both go on tomorrow at 4 and see if we can do it together
W:Ok
Next day
Nick: Ok lets do this
W: Actually I went on before and did it, it was actually pretty easy.
Now that benefit was about $2400 a month, but no effort at all. Hence frustration and resentment.
Well, jokes on me, you dont have to figure things out, just find a new OM.
