Ok, so a couple months ago I was intel gathering (snooping) and I came across something that explained a lot. Her journal from when she was 16 to about 24.I couldnt believe it. Parts of it were she is sad because her father abandoned the family, and why her mther could not keep a husband. I never knew any of this before. Most of the stuff from High School to college was about her and her HS boyfriend, who she is still friends with his family. We got an Xmas card from them this year. A lot of the stuff was waiting for HS boyfriend to call, crying when he went on a ski trip for a week, being angry when he caled late, etc. But a lot of it was them having sex, mainly oral sex in his car, he had a VW Beetle. He called it Buggy Ride. And they would break up, and she would cry and he would come back and have sex, then break up again. This started when she was 16. And this broke my empathy meter. One time he asked for a Buggy Ride (he called it that to her face) , and she did not want to, she performed it anyway. She wrote in her journal she didnt want to, but no one ever listens to her. Sad.
When she gets to her twenties, OMG. Now I have no reason to think my W cheated on me up until now. In fact she told me she was dating 2 other guys when we met, but I might have been OM and not known it. The year after college, she ran through numerous guys in one summer. Total promiscous sex, unprotected, STDs and she doesnt know who she got them from. When former HS boyfriend comes back to town(engaged to someone else), she has sex with him.
She sleeps with her male confidant of many years who's girlfriend is her friend and states in her journal, "We have had feelings for each other for a long time, and even though he has a girlfriend, neither of us regret it." His roomates are all friends and they all know she slept with confidant.
Later, HS boyfriend comes back to town with new fiancee, she has sex in the car with him. Then HS boyfriend (still engaged, but new fiancee) returns to his job in another city, she goes there for a week, stays in his place, and has sex with him.
HS boyfriend for years does this and W is in full pursuit. Calls to him, letters to him and SIL, etc. They are meant to be with each other. HS boyfriend at one time says they are done, but will set her up with one of his friends, and they can all hang out.
At one point, one poor LB boyfriend, who she may her may not have given an STD to is told by W that she has no feelings for him, exactly what she told me. After that and finding the card (see previous post), I knew there was no hope of reconciling.
Now, all this happened years before we met, so while it is shocking I dont hold any of it against her. She was really a loyal and loving partner for 27 years, except that she has a male confidant who she talked about our relationship to. And get this she broke up with her last serious boyfriend before me because he cheated on her, and she hates cheaters.
