Scout's Emancipation

[Rita]

Masterful words from DnJ, one of my favorites in the Collected Works of DnJ.

I would add to that that once you start worrying about enforcing agreements to teach any of these schmoes a lesson, you become a slave to justice. Instead, become a disciple of mercy! S2 is the center here, where all the mercy needs to go. And sometimes it will mean NOT bringing him to a party and sometimes it will mean driving two hundred miles in the rain and waiting in a crappy dirty diner to pick him up after. (But maybe at the diner you will meet the love of your life or some other adventure!)

I will paste Portia's words on that below!

The only person to consider in these situations is S2. When the world does him wrong, you fix it if you can and comfort him if you can't. You can't fix H or the family dysfunction who spawned him. And you can decide when it's good for him to be with them because they are blood and when it's better to not expose him. As DnJ says, he will eventually decide for himself, based on the way they made him feel during that part of his life when you were the one who had to decide.

I wrote about something a priest told me -- You can't fix the engine while it's hot. If you are screamingly mad, don't take any action or decide anything. Wait until the next day. Go for a run, work in your garden, etc. Make an appointment with yourself to decide on something when your engine is not hot. I sometimes have to scream at myself and writhe around on the floor and sob on my knees in or out of church, but do what you gotta do to make it through the hot engine before you actually make a decision.

The quality of mercy is not straind.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The thronèd monarch better than his crown.
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptered sway.
It is enthronèd in the hearts of kings;
It is an attribute to God Himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, (Merchant)
Though justice be thy plea, consider this:
That in the course of justice none of us
Should see salvation. We do pray for mercy,
And that same prayer doth teach us all to render
The deeds of mercy....

—Portia, in William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice