Ok, so Xmas was pretty much normal. Except we didnt go to church, and W(stbxw) and I did not exchange presents. W and I got presents together for kids.
Kids plan a NYE party, and because I'm not detached (still working on it), Im glad because I wont be alone for NYE. So on 12/27 W tells me and kids she is going to NYC for NYE with friends.
Now in September, W went to NYC obstensibely to visit family, but spent most of the time in friends vacant apartment. When she came back she left the marital bed, saying it made her uncomfortable with me. Which means to me, she slept with someone in NY, and really doesnt see herself as wife any more. OK out of MBR you go.
So after she syas she is going to NYC again, I backslide big time and, in private, call her a cheater and even worse things, and say I know she has a boyfriend (I know 2x4 time). We go back and forth, and she says you dont know anything because its not true, you are only pretending to know. I tell her I snooped, and found (in October) the card you got for your boyfriend. The card said,"Just a note to tell you how much I apreciate you, how much I need you, how much I love you" Sickening.
No hesitation her response is, well i never sent it. Without batting an eye. Not that it makes any difference, I ask her to see it. she says she doesnt have it here.
I know, dont believe anything they say but the juvenile and easily disprovable lies that they effortlessly spew still surprises me.
So, the next day she leaves by Uber. To where, I dont know, she could have been shacked up here, and only pretended to go to NY. Doesnt say good bye to kids, doesnt tell kids when she'll be back, dosent commincate with kids at all while away.
NYE party goes well. 2 days later, I ask kids (D17 and D21) when W is coming home, they dont know. So I tell them I'm going to visit some friends in another state, so Ill be gone for a week. I pack up leave and actually away for 2 weeks with NC with W for almost 3 weeks, except at the beginning, I email wife she is going to have to move D21 back to college since Im not there.
Comng back, I stop at colege to see D21, we go out to eat and hang out in my hotel watching the Food channel. Its fun. Take her back home with me on 1/16 since its now D18 birthday. At home W is cordial (roomate like) Me W and Ds go out to dinner for B day, and on 17th have a Bday party at house. During the party Im watching the NFL playoffs, and W starts watching and asking me a lot about one of the teams, so a feel like OM is a fan of that team because she never showed any interest before.
I take D21 back to school on 19th, and am tempted to stay overnight, but I come back home.
On 21st, 5 days after D18 b day, W says we need to get stuff together to go to mediator. I agree. I try to gently ask some questions, because we own a house together and when divorced I probably will leave the area since both Ds will be in college, and employment prospects are limited for me here. Now for Ds benefits, I could work with W to keep house since my Ds will spend time in the area during break and will mean les disruption for them and its a good investment for me. So I ask W what are your plans when we sell house. Her vague answer is get an apartment in our county. Hello, we have a 3300 sq foot house stuffed full of junk. Then I backslide and ask if she is getting married? She laughs and says no.
We live in a really nice neighborhood, we bought at the right time, so any decent aprtment is going to cost more than our current housing payments.
So yesterday W did her usual thing where she gets dressed up to run errands and is gone for 3 to 4 hours. She's been doing this for months, and months ago I told her I knew she was seeing someone. I'm assuming OM is married, because why else would she only vanish for 3 to 4 hours during the day. She is never out at night or overnight. I'm trying to figure out because I feel I would have more power during the negotiations know what cards she is holding. I have no illusions that we are reconciling I am just looking for a soft landing for me and Ds.
