Midlife Crisis and Affair with Past GF

[Elbereth]

I thought I replied but I don’t see it, so I’ll try again. I’ve been digging around the forum for a while so I have read the links you provided. Thank you for those, they’ve offered a lot of good information. I have ordered the books, but they have not arrived yet. I guess I’m wondering if there is any specific advice in my sitch. I’ve been civil, my best self, GAL, but trying to connect but not come on strong or make any demands. However, from the forum, if this is an MLC and not just an affair, is it better to be very detached and less pleasant? I don’t mean nasty, I mean more standoffish but nice, cool but not engaging unless he initiates, etc. if he’s deep in the fog and in luv with OW, does it really matter whether I am hot or cold at this point?