legally my ducks are in a row, my logical mind has been good with that. emotionally I have messed up bad, this whole time. I let her string me along, didnt take the advice here to heart, thought I knew my W better. If I had really buckled down and actually DB'd right after BD I may have had more of a shot, but I dont think this M is worth saving anymore. I am truly dissapointed at emotially weak Ive been. Sure I could have done worse but could have done a hell of a lot better too. The IC has helped me see that by reacting to everything she does it gives her all the power over my life and my own feelings. I can chose to ignore impulses to act or give in and worsen the situation. Back when yall warned me to DB or its gonna be the next OM after this one I didnt think so, I thought she would for sure come back to me if she left OM. Yeah, that didnt happen. She is wanting to be single and free. But wants to spend time with me too and says "I see us together in the future just not right now" I just "need time to not be with anyone" blah blah blah. I give up, promised my IC Dr. I'd work on allowing myself to "give up" on the M. Should have a long time ago. Doubt ill have much more to say. If anything significant occurs ill update. Otherwise im pretty much just trying to forget about my W and my M and accept that my life is what it is.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
