A couple of things that struck me that are perhaps common albeit a bit more extreme in your case.
The first is that doing the "work" of reaching out isn't something that your ex is willing to do. She needs you to do the adulting for her. Well - she fired you from that job a long time ago. The anger towards you and the girls for you not doing all the work to keep the relationship going is something that I saw myself even long before "bomb-day". My son is not good at all on reaching out - just part of his personality. I recall his mother cursing and swearing at him for not responding immediately to texts and for not reaching out in between.
Your ex has tried to force you to force the girls and now she's getting an army of relatives to brow-beat you for not doing her work for her.
The second is the refusal to accept the consequences of their actions. Again - everyone else should do the work and they do none. I saw this - again for years and years and just accepted it and picked up the slack. Any time there was work to be done to make things better from a mistake, my ex would just walk away.
Makes me wonder if this is a common personality trait among those who go off dancing with the fairies in a "MLC". It certainly seems to be.
Stay safe.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
