Thanks Hope. ------------------- I use this message board to explore my thoughts and feelings to a degree. I continue to reflect no the marriage and I think my Values are playing into this significantly. Family has always been my number one value and I've framed that around a long term marriage. No other value was even close to that of Family for me and the frame that I defined that through.
I don't miss my wife most of the time. Its not about her. The anxiety is about the unknown. The sadness is about a lifelong dream that has been lost. I'm mourning that dream and its hard to let go of.
Its about the dream, not about my wife. She just happens to be in the dream and the subject of it. ---------------- The kids and I have this thing where we have been watching old Cosby episodes. The way they interact in the show is really interesting. Clair and Cliff never take themselves or the kids too seriously. They have a sense of humor and they are allowed to be who they are. They flirt, make jokes, its really a good example of marriage. And in nearly every episode their is a bedroom scene that implies intimacy.
Its so incredibly opposite of how my STBXW interacts with the world.
