Wife continues the story that she wants to be friends, doesn’t want more and wants me to give her room to breathe without rules right now. Essentially it’s “let me do what I want or you lose me” I swallowed that pill for a few days on the premise she wasn’t trying to be with anyone else. I come by like a idiot to bring her chocolate because I made a big deal about having no more OM’s and she was not home. Turns out she went to OM’s place for various excuses. I lost it. Lied to again. Called her sister/ BFF and unloaded. Her sister unloaded on her for giving me and my kids hopes. OM finds out I love my wife still and begs me for forgiveness says he will end it with her and he doesn’t want To marry her. OM says that he has no idea why she would leave a man like me. WW gets pissed she got busted, denies any emotional reasons for going there, calls me a stalker etc etc and reiterated how she wants to have no rules and so as she wants but be friends and rebuild our relationship.
Well I went there and saw her to drop the kids. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like.... I’m still in love with you WW I cannot sit here and pretend to be buddies and pals and get my own hopes up or my kids hopes up. I want to have a relationship we feel happy In, your not happy when you feel like you have to be with me. And I’m not happy being only a friend. I want you to be with me and faithful to me and for us to be together. You don’t want that. It breaks my heart but I have to be honest we are not on the same page. She asked me to contact the lawyer to finish the divorce tomorrow. And that is exactly what I will do. Enough people have told me I am good man that they all can see loves her and she’s a moron. I realize that being friend zoned means no respect from her or my kids and most importantly myself. I may lose my wife but at least I won’t have to hate myself for being a little B and letting her dictate the rules of our M when she walked out of it. I’m scared, I’m hurt but I won’t lie to my W. I’m not okay with just being friends. And if I went along with that it’s more pain for me and my kids. So I will finish the D this week and it hurts but I feel I am doing the right thing.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
