R2C - I’m not spending as much energy as I was in her emotional state. I think as I transition the relationship to being co-parents that will help me mentally and emotionally. Also, journaling helps. Today I wrote about the stress I used to feel when she was around - anytime I would want to relax I would be stressed out in worry because she might not approve. For example, one day she was getting ready for My daughters birthday party And it looked like everything was ready. I asked if I could do anything else to help, she said no. I laid down in the couch and took a thirty minute nap. After the party that became a reason for us to get divorced. I was insensitive and didn’t care about anyone except myself.
Now, if I want to take a nap, play a video game, watch TV, make dinner late, go to the gym, I just do it and it’s cool. So I may spend some energy or concern on whether or not I’m going to piss her off (though I’m spending less innit all the time) but I’ve gotten so much back, it more than makes up for it.
