I know I shouldn't re-explain this but here I go anyways.
Over the past years my STBXW has vacillated between "I want a Divorce" and "I want a Separation." When she moved out most recently and I asked her whether we were getting divorced or just separated she said, "I don't know, but I'm leaning towards divorce." That is why I felt the need to clarify 7 weeks later.
And again, she said the same thing. I get the feeling that in her mind she wants to see the divorce process through and then decide at the end whether or not she is going to go through with it or not AND she will go through with it, she just can't bring herself all the way around to say it.
Her personality is to delay and grind things out to force other people to make decisions. I imagine she wants me to finally make this decision for her or she wants an out, a way where she can point at me at the end of the day and say "See, Brad wanted this divorce."
Anyhow, I don't care. I don't want to play that game. I know I still have work to do; I'm still processing everything, but I'm getting used to having the kids less. I'm learning to appreciate my own time - though it still comes with challenges.
I am so thankful that she moved out and I kept the house, that has been huge for me.
On Wednesday I head to Florida for 5 days. She doesn't know I'm going but I did tell my son. When she finds out she is going to flip out. We'll see how I feel when that happens, I know I'm going to feel like I've done something wrong - I can't explain why - but I don't care. I get to make my own decisions now. ----------------------- R2c - Thanks for highlighting those words of mine. I wrote that down. It is a powerful reminder. OnlyBent - I know what you said to be true. I'm making my peace with it in my time. Thanks 97Hope! LH/DunnM - D will have its challenges; And I do agree its better than being with someone who wants out.
