Another LBH (kinda) pt. 3

[97Hope]

I just bought "Gates of Fire" - I needed to GAL today so I went to 1/2 price and got that and the movie 300. LOL Time to check in and channel my inner warrior.

RE: what you gave up in your marriage. Hmmm...I was thinking about this in the car. My BFF from high school called today and had a 2x4 for me, kinda. He said that when I was in high school and for the first 10 years of my marriage I was shania twain "any man of mine" and somewhere along the way I lost that and became a doormat.

He's not wrong. I was on a freaking allowance in my M. My X made piles and piles of money (seriously, it's obscene) and I had an allowance for groceries, gas and any incidentals I wanted. I NEVER had enough for fun stuff. If I wanted something I would have to save my 'allowance'. I would do anything X wanted - I thought I was being loving and supportive - and I was to a degree - but then I became an employee. A low paid employee at that!

I tell you that to say - keep exploring who you are outside of Salty the H. Who are you as Salty the Man? GAL is an excellent way to try new things. I know it doesn't feel like it but you have freedom now! I'm not joking - it's in my thread but when X moved out I embraced the freedom. I ate yogurt and watermelon for dinner. I ate chips in bed (once. that was gross didn't do it again). I watched my chick flicks without criticism. Man I did what I wanted, when I wanted! I bought a kayak and yelled "freeeeeeeeeeedom!!" a la Braveheart in the middle of a lake.

I hate the phrase "finding yourself" because too many WAS use it to justify blowing up their family - but explore who you are as an individual - make it fun! Feelings follow actions!

And yes, MUSIC! holy heck I have to be VERY careful what I put in my brain! We should have that on the welcome thread - maybe a playlist for newcomers? Power ballads? Don't go away mad...motley Crue? lol CeeLo Green?

You sound like you are starting to notice what you think and what you tell yourself. That is fantastic!

** ummmm - get them out of her purse. A strong, confident woman won't want them in there lol