Steve_Treading Water

[Joe2017]

Steve_, I’m sorry bro that [censored]. I remember sitting in a divorce group therapy session, my first one ever. I’m sitting there crying and I tell them “I’ve had people try to kill me before, and it never felt this scary.” You know what I mean. You go out on patrol and you expect to get shot at eventually. Something is gonna go down one day, so you prepare and train for it.

But not here. You never prepared for this. You got caught off guard. The wounds cut deep, and they scare you. The betrayal. The gaslighting. The abuse. How it affects your kids. None of it is what you expected in a million years.

You need to retreat to a safe position and regroup. I don’t think you have even read Sandi’s rules, and if you did you need to read them again. And again. You should also look into reading “No More Mr. Nice Guy”.

You need to build your team. You need a therapist. (At the very least use your EAP benefits). You need close friends to tell you when you’re being dumb. You need to select a GOOD attorney... not the cheapest or first one in the google search. The BEST one you can get. Ask people you know who have been divorced, they will tell you who to use and who NOT to use.

Your WW is not who she used to be. And that’s normal, which is scary and seems surreal. But the good news is that they all do the same things. The SAME things, seriously... that’s how so many of us have watched your situation go down exactly like we thought it would. Because there is an unwritten wayward spouse handbook. It is almost like a collective consciousness mental disorder amongst waywards.

Get counseling. Get an attorney. Nobody is coming. You have to save yourself.