"She's not done with you yet, Steve. WW's are savage creatures. In the next few weeks, she's gonna pull out the big guns and you need to be prepared. She's gonna cry, tell you how much she loves you, and how bad she screwed up. Maybe about how OM is a monster and abusive. And you're gonna go right back to old behaviors to try to be the hero and save her. Trust me. I've been there. You need to have it cemented in your head that this is all part of the script and she doesn't mean any of it. I'm afraid if you're not prepared, she's gonna melt you like a popsicle on a hot day and you're right back where you started."
I refer to this as the "steering wheel", chump lady calls it the "charm/rage/self pity cycle" - it's best to be prepared to see it before it comes - it's whatever they can use to "steer" your emotions - manipulation.
Doesn't matter if she's doing it intentionally or knowingly. As soon as you see it - you will know you are being manipulated.
W will know what will make you act(your kids, getting them out of OM's house, her and kids 'safety') etc. I would pay attention to how she responds when you tell her No. That's usually when it's more evident.
Glad you are taking care of yourself! IC has changed my life and I highly recommend it!!
Take care of yourself!
Last edited by 97Hope; 01/16/2101:09 AM. Reason: I can't spell to save my life today
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
