There's also nothing wrong with being BFFs with your ex-wife. My brother is divorced and he and his wife regularly hang out with his ex-wife and her new husband. They even entered a business together. It took a few years of separation, but it's a cozy arrangement now, with truly no tension between them.
Yeah this is absolutely true, it doesn't work for everyone but it IS possible. My XW and I struggled for some time over how to behave around each other after BD and especially separation. At first I think we both needed time and space (I didn't think I did of course, but in retrospect I did). After a while once the pressure on both of us was well and truly out of the way, we settled into a friendly relationship. I would say it took a good 2 years. We do birthdays, holidays and such together. This year we all (XW, me, our kids, XW's mom) had Thanksgiving at her house. We did dinner and games at her house on Christmas eve, then on Christmas day they all came over to my house and we opened presents. Some might argue that it's cake-eating, but 10 years post BD my response to that would be "who cares". It's not like I'm trying to recon with her, and I do enjoy the time spent as a family as I'm sure she does.
Scotty, regarding your W hitting rock bottom, that's really more of a wayward/ GGW thing rather than a WAS. I thought for sure once my XW moved out and had to do everything herself that she would quickly learn to miss me and everything I did for her. In fact the opposite happened, she enjoyed her new independence and embraced her ability to do things on her own. All these years later she'll ask me for help sometimes, but she still does things on her own that surprise me. She's much stronger both physically and mentally than I gave her credit for. Now that's not to say that she won't learn to miss you, I'm sure she will. I'm just saying don't expect her to have some kind of epiphany that life is rough without you, because it probably won't be.
