Leaving it behind.

[97Hope]

So revenge is a dish best served with your private parts lol?!

Yeah....that's what I discussed with therapist. LOL He mentioned that he's concerned this type of action/thinking will "harden" me and that might not be a direction I want to go (it's def. not).

Going forward, leaving him to do what he does and with whom and keeping myself out of the chaos. Joining in isn't good for me.

So you can predict the future? Who will win the Super bowl?!

Apples/oranges. Knowing something about yourself - accepting it and trusting it isn't predicting.

Somewhere along the way I stopped trusting myself. That's been the #1 theme for me in IC.

So re Nov. 21 - When it was over - I listened to myself and trusted that this was not the man he used to be/I thought he was - whatever. He is who he is now, and that is not a person I want to hitch my wagon to - in any sense.

Can there be love without trust?!

Of course! How do we love addicts, alcoholics, adulterers? From a safe distance/lovingly detach.
I think the line is - can I have a relationship with someone who has violated my trust? NO.
Can I love them anyway and allow them the freedom to live their own life ? YES
Can I let them close to me in any way emotionally? NO

Can you be in love with other people's people?!

No, but you can ** them! (Kidding, kind of). I will not share a man, was my point, and I will not cheat.

Which are?!

My beliefs...so many - but regarding this situation

I believe:

- infidelity is wrong and hurts more than just the two people in the R.
- honesty is critical for a healthy R.
- trust is earned by behaviors over time.
- we can grow from (censored) experiences.
- this does not define me.
- I am a separate independent person who does not need a person to feel complete.
- peace comes from allowing others the freedom to make their own choices in life
- accepting others for who/what they are is love.
- boundaries are loving and necessary in any healthy relationship.
- no matter how dark the night feels, it doesn't last forever.
- we can find contentment in any circumstance if we choose to.