Steve,

Hey buddy. Let's look at some small ways you could improve your interactions--
Originally Posted by Steve_
WW wanted to have the "talk" about our future. She asked me if I want to get the divorce, she said something told her not to do it and right now she is not sure if we should get the divorce and start over or just stay M. I told her that it was not important to me either way.

If she wants to talk, listen and validate. It sounded more like she wanted to get you to talk, a mix of a temperature check plus a sales pitch, "Do you want to buy this red car OR that blue car?!"

Her: "Do you want to get the divorce?"
Option 1: "I'm just focused on moving this table right now."
Option 2: "You brought it up. What are your thoughts?"

Her: "Something told me not to do it and right now I'm not sure if we s should get the divorce and start over or just stay M"
You: You do sound uncertain about what's next.

Originally Posted by Steve
She told me she doesnt want to divorce me but needs to be alone and not with anyone for awhile. She has asked me to spend time with her and the kids daily since she moved in

Umm.. these are opposites! I agree with leaving her ALONE for a spell to allow her to figure herself out, to allow you to figure out your terms for R, and for her to decide if she wants it enough to bother.

Originally Posted by Steve
she is afraid that I wont be able to let it go and if she does anything wrong ill explode on her and bring up OM and so on etc, she just needs time to see if we can do this before she agrees to move forward together

It's bizarre she's setting the terms for R. You SHOULD NOT let go--for awhile--that she cheated on you 7 times. You SHOULD let go eventually, but anger can be useful in helping you find the strength you often struggle to find, strength that would feel good and probably increase her respect and attraction for you. You could harness it to set terms on R to protect yourself that take into account her past misdeeds. Letting her back too easily sets you up for the next time, and you and your kids have been on a roller coaster.