I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 27

[SteveLW]

KK,

Several people told you dating was a bad idea. Especially, as only posts before you were still hung up on your husband.

You brushed it off as a bit of fun / letting your hair down and harmless..

Dating is not harmless when you have attachment issues. Look at the outcome of what was just a few dates with a guy.. You can't get over it and its actually set you back.

Wolfman is a great example of why not to date broken.
You followed in his footsteps - different outcome, but same principle.. It wasnt a positive or happy ending.

Please speak to a specialist. A lot of people here are posting the same thing day in day out, but until you make the steps needed, you will go full circle continually.

I'm working on it. I'm going to lose my health insurance with D so I've got to make that a priority and look into options and when I can be covered with new insurance.

I'm just as likely to get my heart broke 2yr after D or 2yr after therapy. Life does not have guarantees.

I haven't slept much this week so I know I'm not making good choices.

I came home last night to notice of court date in early March. I'm not even sure why we need a court date? STBXH does not have atty and my atty said nothing about needing to schedule a court date. I called STBXH last night when he was at work and told him about the court date (he stated he got notice too). I was said I'm being honest in that I don't know what its about. Told him I would check in with atty and let him know. We both agreed we don't want the court date. If we can get through this without creating more hate or bitterness it would be a win.

Court dates in uncontested divorces are completely normal, and are simply a formality. My understanding from friends and family that have been through it is that it is simply a matter of the judge asking both sides if they are in agreement with the written agreement. If both say yes (or one party doesn't show up) then there is nothing left to do, the written agreement becomes the official agreement of record, and that will be the final court appearance.

One word of caution, I think you've said you still have a couple of joint credit cards/accounts, and that is how you knew when he went with OW to a few places. Is that still the case? Because I've known people that have been D'd and agreed to split the debt, 50/50. But when the other S defaults, the bank comes after the first S for the whole amount, and no amount of telling the bank about the divorce decree mattered. So make sure you are protected.