Steve85 - I hear you. I don't know how you actually "prepare" for it. I mean when it happens, I can imagine the rush of emotions - sadness and rage. All I can do is continue with the things I am doing to the best of my ability and really work not to get sucked into her world - that is really freaking hard, because of Fear. I fear that if I don't help her, if I'm not her friend, it will push her further away and into the arms of someone else. I think there is an inevitability of it happening anyways, but of course I don't want to push her that way.
Scott, lots of LBSs struggle with that. The problem is that this is coming from the faulty assumption that you can PULL them closer to you. You cannot. Helping her and being her friend will not draw her closer to you. It will allow her to feel secure where she is at. Once she is secure that you are securely in the friendzone, that is when the threat of an OM becomes strongest. "He is okay with it, has accepted it, it is safe to introduce to the kids!" However, if you start living your best life, if you keep her at arms length so she isn't sure who you are with or what you are doing, but only that you seem extremely happy and fulfilled, she might start wondering "What's up with Scott? Has he met someone?" Sometimes that triggers the competitive nature in WAS and they suddenly are on the chase! Admittedly we tend to see this phenomenon in WAHs more than WAWs, but there have been a few WAWs that have started to come sniffing back around when the LBH suddenly seemed to be flourishing in his new life without her.
So I maintain, that being her friend, being willing to help her is actually the fastest way to push her into the arms of an OM. And the worst thing about the friend-zone? You will be one of the first people to hear how wonderful OM is and how great of a time they are having, right from her own mouth. After all, that is the kind of things friends share.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
