I’m sorry, kk but from what you describe he was and is a sick sick man. I can’t seem to find any excuses for what he did to your son and you. I’m sorry, but communicating about cars and checking in on him once is is not grounds for a good relationship. Why does this man get so many outs and so many excuses and a crumb like “he checked on my son once when I got on him” make him a good person. It was most likely a gaslighting tactic towards you, actually. No long hours of work, no stress from his first marriage, in which he probably physically abused her too. There is absolutely nothing that excuses this behavior and I can’t imagine any “stellar” events cancelling any of this out and making this monster desirable in any way.
I’m sorry you haven’t been sleeping. You are in desperate need of therapy for this. Anyone would be. You continue to make excuses and put this abuser who was also mean to your son on a pedestal when he does something that isn’t cruel. I sincerely hope you get the help you need to get deal with this and change the dynamics in your life towards healthier ones .
