I was at his house and got freaking triggered. He was cussing and swearing loudly -- Not at me. About an issue... and I literally almost left without saying a word to him. I tried to remain calm and asked what I could do to help and I left him to take care of what he needed to address but I stood outside nearly naked trying to breathe. Trying to pretend that my fight or flight had not been triggered. Obviously I got sh*t to deal with.
Originally Posted by KitCat
Is it possible to turn it around? Is it possible to wait 2-3 wks and offer to take him out to dinner as I "owe him some conversation over a meal"?
KitCat, re-read your text about Pilot yelling and cursing only a few dates in--sounds like anger issues. That's not normal. I suspect most people here have yelled expletives at some point, but it's highly unlikely if you stopped by our house on a random night you'd encounter that, especially if you only visited a few times.
Survivors of abusive relationships have an unfortunate tendency to recreate those situations. That's often due to not getting therapy, and a subconscious desire to prove we've grown and can handle them, but true growth is to avoid such situations. I suspect you will downplay his negatives to us, so just consider this yourself. If this is a pattern for you, you may not be able to stop on your own, but at least start noticing it.
