I see your analogy of WAS. Time and space may work with relationships but we weren't even there yet. We were only dating.
The distance/pursuit dynamic is where the idea of giving time and space comes from, and that dynamic is in strong effect during dating. In fact it's an even stronger dynamic during dating than it is in a WAS situation, because the laws of attraction are still in place whereas in a WAS sitch, the WAS had no attraction to the LBS. The more you pursue pilot or anyone else you date, the less attractive they find you. You were no challenge to pilot, you readily jumped into bed with him and even showed up half naked at his doorstep. You blew up his phone (at least it sounds like you did), poured your heart out to him, were way too available to him. You were doing all the pursuing, and now he is doing all the distancing. And you've been making the classic mistake of pursuing even MORE when he distances, which just drives him farther away. I've been in a relationship like that before and will tell you that from my point of view, all that pursuit towards me looked very clingy and desperate. It really turned me off, and it sounds like that's how pilot feels too.
I never texted like 10times a day... everyday. I texted once every couple of days at the end for about a 10 days period.
Is it possible to turn it around?
Is it possible to wait 2-3 wks and offer to take him out to dinner as I "owe him some conversation over a meal"? Looking back at texts from early dating he hated how quiet I was and felt I hide behind the term introvert... obviously it just takes more time for my wall to come down... the sad part is I was like 98% there... UGH... if he could have just been a little more patient with me.
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You've gone from hyper-analyzing everything H said to doing it to pilot! Try to put your brain into neutral. It didn't work out, just accept it and move on. Take a break from men for a while and gather your thoughts.
I'm hyper-analyzing EVERYTHING. This is true of my work - medical cases. Interacting with clients, co-workers and my boss. Why do you WANT me as your vet??? Because I will lie awake at 2am worrying about your pet and brainstorming on case management and care ---- AND you aren't even billed for those hours. This is just not something I do with personal relationships... its me across the board. This just isn't a veterinary forum so you don't see those things... just things that pertain to my marriage and this person I'd really like to date and know more about.
