I see your analogy of WAS. Time and space may work with relationships but we weren't even there yet. We were only dating.
The distance/pursuit dynamic is where the idea of giving time and space comes from, and that dynamic is in strong effect during dating. In fact it's an even stronger dynamic during dating than it is in a WAS situation, because the laws of attraction are still in place whereas in a WAS sitch, the WAS had no attraction to the LBS. The more you pursue pilot or anyone else you date, the less attractive they find you. You were no challenge to pilot, you readily jumped into bed with him and even showed up half naked at his doorstep. You blew up his phone (at least it sounds like you did), poured your heart out to him, were way too available to him. You were doing all the pursuing, and now he is doing all the distancing. And you've been making the classic mistake of pursuing even MORE when he distances, which just drives him farther away. I've been in a relationship like that before and will tell you that from my point of view, all that pursuit towards me looked very clingy and desperate. It really turned me off, and it sounds like that's how pilot feels too.
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In my head I wanted to send a text letting him know that he was doing all the right things with his dog with the older health issues, truly all the right things. That he had a good relationship with his vet who had history and testing results that I didn't have. I didn't feel it was my place to interfere with that or add more.
I doubt he cares about that at all, he probably just wants out.
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^^^IDK... maybe he wasn't looking for that but more of me just telling him he was doing a good job??? That's what clients want to hear in my office. Sure they are looking for advice but they really just want to be told or recognized for what they are doing correctly. "you handled that well", "you were right to be concerned about that", etc. Did I just miss the mark when I was not "in office mode"? But, seriously, he was doing all the right things its just a frustrating condition that will not get better. He thought I did not care? He thought I was not interested?
You've gone from hyper-analyzing everything H said to doing it to pilot! Try to put your brain into neutral. It didn't work out, just accept it and move on. Take a break from men for a while and gather your thoughts.
