FlySolo, I read your note to me on your thread about re-reading my threads from a neutral standpoint and thinking about what advice I'd give myself... I will do that. I re-read some of it a few weeks ago and my biggest takeaway was that I've come a long ways, as has he. (maybe even... we've come a long way? I don't know that I'm totally ready to say that yet.) And how to be in the NOW, not in the fear and anger of yesterday, or in the dueling hope and anxiety for what may be in the future? This is my work, I think, today. Thank you for that.
They say you have to let the past go in order to move forward. Blank page it. Press reset.
I say, harder said than done.
Moving forward on your own has exactly the same pitfalls as moving forward together. Trusting someone, man that's a big ask of anyone who has been left shattered on the floor. One day you will look up at fireworks, surrounded by the family you've fought for (with or without him), and not think of OW. It isn't that day yet. Until then, forgive yourself for allowing your fear and distrust to take center stage every now and then.
OW is not a pile of dogsh!t. She is a person who (although slightly mentally unhinged) was doing what she thought was best for her. Thinking of her as anything else gives her power.
You are wonderful May. Don't let anyone let you think any different about yourself.
