Scout's Emancipation

[OnlyBent]

Hi Scout, I just saw that you commented on my thread, I appreciate you taking the time, thank you. For some reason I felt compelled to catch up on your sitch, perhaps because we live in the same country. Funnily enough, the more I read, the more similarities I began to see in what you have been going through and what I have, more than just where we live.

You have really handled yourself admirably in the face of difficult circumstances and I have gone through and highlighted a number of things that I have read that will help me in moving forward in my situation. Like you, my STBXW walked away and didn't look back. I gave it my all to make it work, understand what was making her unhappy, trying to fix things but I got nothing in return, it was quite humiliating.

My exhusband would occasionally say he was unhappy a couple times a year, and while I stepped up to try and work on things every time he did this, he did nothing on his end. So basically, I was rewarding him for his emotional neglect while he didn’t have to lift a finger. I tried to spend more time with him, be hotter in the bedroom and make more of an effort, ask him to go on dates with me, etc. He must have known that saying he’s unhappy would warrant my immediate flood of attention for him while he didn’t have to return the favor. He used me.
Another step forward.

It was this quote that really resonated with me. This would come from my STBXW once or twice every couple of years and I would work really hard to address her concerns with no corresponding action from her end. After a while it just made me feel like giving up. You mentioned that you wanted your XH to come and meet you with S at the train station, that would have made you feel really happy. I used to take our S to the bus stop and train station to wait for STBXW and we'd wave and be really excited to see her. Recently she told me the reason she didn't want to have sex with me all those years was that she never felt loved or appreciated.

Anyway, just thought I'd share how useful your posts have been for me and its quite inspiring to see your progress, keep up the good work!