I noticed in this post and others of yours that you say a lot about how poorly you are doing when it is clear that you are doing very well, are an amazing mom and are handling a disgusting situation with as much grace as you possibly can. And on this post you write this very interesting and insightful and very not-whiny post and then sort of pre-apologize for it being too onerous to read!
And it seems this is the same thing you are doing with your H. How do I know? I WAS YOU.
You are living in a totally impossible horrific situation with a person who ripped out your heart, stomped on it while forcing you to watch and then began demanding that you make him feel better for having had to rip and stomp and make you watch. He undermined everything your love and marriage and family and business stood for, and demanded that you understand why he must do that. And then you are wondering why you sometimes feel a bad feeling or have trouble focusing. And in between you take your four beautiful children ice skating and call across the ice to your darlings, "Look up! Look at where you want to go!" and that is a glorious light-filled moment they will never ever forget, it will feed their souls -- and then you wonder why you would dread having to be around a man who makes you feel rejected and who makes you question your whole life together and your worth as a woman and a mother and a business partner, you berate yourself for not being detached enough to not enjoy negotiating the practicalities of how to best parent while someone rips your family apart, And in the background lurks an evil husband snatcher who thinks she has a right to destroy five lives for her "happiness." And then you apologize for writing something onerous!
Is there any way to post this so every newcomer can see it?? This is pure DB gold.
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
