Nice to hear from you. How are you? I wonder often how you're doing.
Yes, you are right, I was the one who was ultimately responsible for my 'stuckness'. It is easy to see from a distance, but when you're in the midst of it, well, you know what they say about the woods and the trees. I will say, he did not make it easy to move on. I do not take all the responsibility. The dishonesty and lack of transparency, the always checking in on me. The partner/non-partner BS. That's on him. But I let him do it
I often think of it as a blessing in disguise. I know that this wasn't the life i had planned. But I also know even if he got down on one knee and said he wanted to try, that my answer would be no. Not because of the pain he caused me since he left, but I know, that I am more than the woman he made me feel in the 12 months or more leading up to the separation. He made me feel worthless. And I let him. I am not that woman anymore. He cannot come back.
Anyway, that doesn't mean that I wish him ill or there is resentment. He was disappointed with his life. So, he lashed out at the person who he thought caused it. I don't think he did it with intentional malice. Hurt people hurt people.
