Yail - my beautiful friend. I hope you are well and surviving the madness outside with the same dignity, fortitude and compassion and wit that you've shown weathering storms of old. It was reading the news over there that made me want to reach out and see how you all were. I know you will get through this. It is a pity, like the storms of old, that you have to.
How is the 'flirtation'? I remember you were quite enamored with her?
Hmn, not sure there is anything 'fun' to report. Surviving. Bad days and good. I think you put it right when you said mf'g exhausted
The nice smelling man and I had a very intense 2 month courtship. We fell into step very quickly and unsurprisingly, it burnt away quickly. I have no regrets. It was a good two months. We message/speak on the phone from time to time (polite, friendly, lot of banter) but there is no flirtation - not because the chemistry is gone, it very much isn't, but we are both a little scared and unsure of one another. Words said and unsaid.
Maybe I'm not as healed as I thought I was .
D14 and I are still at logger heads, and this is the main point of contention between H and I. They are closer now than ever, and she turns to him whenever she sees I have done her some type of injustice. He tries to give me parenting advice, and I really really don't want parenting advice from him.
It's hard. I love D14 and wish we had the relationship we had. Be too hard on her she withdraws, be too over the top and loving, she withdraws. All I can be is consistently available without putting pressure on her.
H and I are less friendly then we were. We can no longer be in the same room anymore. I am unwilling to bend in a way I was before. It's OK. Water off a sheeps back mainly (except when it comes to D14, where I often find myself crying in my room once they've gone).
What else, um, I spend time with friends. My 'social bubble' is the boy I had that flirtation with all those years ago. We go to each others houses, watch films, cook dinner and just hang out. Purely platonic. But it's nice.
That's it. Apart from that I probably drink too much wine.
