It is really good when we reclaim our self, and stop believing the narrative of our spouse.
H rewrote his history. And it is pretty easy to get caught up in that revision with someone so seemly sure of themselves.
Time shows the truth. The confusion revealed, the projections become apparent, the false justifications realized.
In time, the LBS stands...up. Head held high, shoulders back, confident, strong, and a smile in their heart.
Time is a gift. We find ourselves, our deep core. We invest into us. The dividends pay huge returns.
Originally Posted by Sage4
I can't imagine being in a place where I was willing to do that. And for that reason, I have a lot of compassion for H.
For the moment “can’t” is mostly true. Compassion has an element of indifference to it.
Compassion leads to understanding and empathy and forgiveness, as indifference somewhat melts away. One becomes able to imagine a place; a suffering; a torment; a darkness where running could be viewed as one’s only escape of the horrible existence that is MLC.
Realize the person in crisis is completely depressed. Their “willing to do that” is less willing and more driven to. They absolutely need to run, to escape. Yet, one cannot escape themselves, and that is the lesson some sadly do not learn.
Imagination is the first step of creation. We first imagine that which we are going to build. Be it a bird house, a picnic table, a new kitchen, a family, a life, or forgiveness. We must first be able to imagine it.
Originally Posted by Sage4
LH, you wrote on someone else's thread that the difference between a WS/WAS and a LBS is time. I have been brewing on that for a while. I know deep down that H is going to regret his decisions and his actions, but for the first time I am beginning to believe that maybe I won't. That maybe there is more out there for me. Not just a person, but a whole life. What am I capable of accomplishing if I all that energy I put into him and our business was utilized somewhere else, something of my own design? I know I still have a long road ahead of me with a threatened D, but your sentence has opened my eyes just a tiny bit to a future I couldn't see a few weeks back.
You have the time.
You are investing it wisely. You see the possibilities. You are starting to believe in them.
Just imagine what you can accomplish. What future you can create.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
