May - I have read the last few pages on your thread, and oh, how far you've come. Not just in terms of your sitch, but also how you have been offering such kindness and guidance to others who have come after you.
I see so much of me in you. The tunnels, the self-reflection, the endless wondering. I ask that you turn your keen eye, intelligence and ability to get to the hub of that matter inwards. Read through your thread. Take a birds eye view, not as the OP, but as a person reading it - with kindness but with no attachment. What advice would you give yourself?
You've got this. I have faith that you can withstand anything. But don't get stuck in what was and what could be. Focus on what is.