WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont5.)

[97Hope]

I was told that I needed to let go and it was okay. That I was okay as I am. That I needed to stop worrying. And that I could give away my pain, I didn't need to carry it around any longer.

I think the fear of letting go of the MR is one of the hardest things we have to do. I was told "your MR is dead" so many times. Once I accepted that my M was dead - the fear was gone and I could start living. It was a big shift in my healing. I pray the same for you.

as I walked I began to think through all the ways my wife would control and manipulate me, which is funny because I never thought of it in those terms before. She was always keeping tabs on me. I basically had to ask permission to do anything and if I was gone longer than I said it was a major issue, even if it didn't impact anyone else. It was so bad that I was afraid to ask to go anywhere or to do anything.

Sometimes we gloss over it to the point we forget the realty of our MR's. I didn't dwell on the bad parts of my M, but I had to get to a point where I was honest with myself about the parts that were unacceptable to me.

Letting go of the fantasy helps. Gives us a realistic picture going forward. Sounds like you are doing a lot of introspection.

Also - fantastic on the bike trip! Sounds fun!!